On Acquiring Sabr
DISCLAIMER: This note is based on a lecture by Nouman Ali Khan which you can find here.
Do you know the Quran's remedy for when you are going through difficulties? Apparently, it is to look through the shelves in your mind and find things to be grateful for. Some of us may say it is strange, because how can we be grateful at those times when the most humane thing to do is condemn whatever happens to us?
One of the most extreme cases for this lesson was at the time when followers of Prophet Musa AS, the Israelis, were forced to evacuate to the desert in order to avoid the brutality that happened in their village (E.g. their babies were slaughtered in front of their eyes). Okay now, do you think desert is the best place to go to run away? Can we even call desert a shelter? No. In fact, traveling in the desert itself is a distress. Can you imagine how big of calamity they were facing? Well at this time, Allah instructed Prophet Musa AS to tell them to be grateful. Imagine yourself in their position, when all you see around you are difficulties after difficulties, but you are told to be grateful.
The point that Allah wants you to know here is: If you cannot find gratitude, patience or sabr is impossible. On the other hand, if you manage to be grateful, Allah promises that He will take control of the rest for you.
Sabr is even though you are sad or angry, you still manage not to cross the line. You are still grateful, you do not disobey Allah, and you do not say bad words (you still hold your tongue). Sabr is control over your actions, not emotions, since you cannot really take control of the latter.
(I have to highlight the following because it's my favourite part from the lecture.)
So don't be hard on yourself, don't condemn yourself, don't live a life with constant guilts. If you fail to keep these in mind, you will not just ruin yourself, but also people around you. Stop oppressing each other, especially in your family. Don't be a harsh judge on yourself. Instead, become a person of gratitude. Remember that Allah always opens door of mercy for us. :)
Do you know the Quran's remedy for when you are going through difficulties? Apparently, it is to look through the shelves in your mind and find things to be grateful for. Some of us may say it is strange, because how can we be grateful at those times when the most humane thing to do is condemn whatever happens to us?
One of the most extreme cases for this lesson was at the time when followers of Prophet Musa AS, the Israelis, were forced to evacuate to the desert in order to avoid the brutality that happened in their village (E.g. their babies were slaughtered in front of their eyes). Okay now, do you think desert is the best place to go to run away? Can we even call desert a shelter? No. In fact, traveling in the desert itself is a distress. Can you imagine how big of calamity they were facing? Well at this time, Allah instructed Prophet Musa AS to tell them to be grateful. Imagine yourself in their position, when all you see around you are difficulties after difficulties, but you are told to be grateful.
The point that Allah wants you to know here is: If you cannot find gratitude, patience or sabr is impossible. On the other hand, if you manage to be grateful, Allah promises that He will take control of the rest for you.
Sabr is even though you are sad or angry, you still manage not to cross the line. You are still grateful, you do not disobey Allah, and you do not say bad words (you still hold your tongue). Sabr is control over your actions, not emotions, since you cannot really take control of the latter.
(I have to highlight the following because it's my favourite part from the lecture.)
Our religion does not expect us to be angels. It acknowledges that Allah made us human being with emotional feelings entitled to us.Therefore, it is okay to feel sad or anger for legitimate reasons, but keep in mind that we can have control over our actions when we feel that outburst.
So don't be hard on yourself, don't condemn yourself, don't live a life with constant guilts. If you fail to keep these in mind, you will not just ruin yourself, but also people around you. Stop oppressing each other, especially in your family. Don't be a harsh judge on yourself. Instead, become a person of gratitude. Remember that Allah always opens door of mercy for us. :)
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